Tuesday, 10 August 2010

'African Signs' are messing with my business plans

So we do not deal with Israeli products. And we try not to get irritated with clients' IT officers who can't tell the difference between a computer mouse and real one because we are afraid of 'African signs.'


Let me tell you the story.

We have built a network for one of my important clients. We also built them a server and firewall. All Linux-based, all open source. Virus free. License free. And, we provide fine tuning and training for a period after the project has been handed over. Naturally. But you would think that the fine tuning and training would have a cut off period. My guys are there all the time.

Every friggin' time I ask where Linga is, I get the answer, he's at the site. I telephone him sometimes when he's gone to client sites and why is he taking so long to get back to the office and guess what, yes, he is at this particular client site.

During a staff meeting I ask my staff, so how come we spend every waking moment of our friggin' lives at this site? Did you guys build a lousy network? What is it? Why are you guys always there and why does it look like what we built does not work?

So it turns out the IT officer cannot manage anything. My staff confirm this. So I ask them, can we just own up to this to our client? We do not want anyone to lose their job or create problems. Blah blah. But still, I am tired of us looking bad.

My guys say, no, we can't. I say, no, I am fed up of doing Call Outs for which we are not getting paid. There is legitimate money to be made here.

The guys are seemingly reluctant to push this further. Besides the whole we-can't-go-around-getting-people-fired. They say, he can harm us. I say, what? How the heck can he harm us? He is not our enemy. They say, he can harm us. I said, what? Get us in trouble? Get us fired? What? After prodding them, they say, 'African signs.'


Black magic. Voodoo. Abracadabra. Witchcraft.

I could not believe it. I was like, what? You guys are kidding, right? But no it turns out all my staff believe in this. They told me weird stories. They even told me about the naked soldier myths that went around in the war here - bullets ricocheting off them. You know, General Butt Naked. Stories of how a body decomposed in one minute.

I was flabbergasted. I asked them, so you guys can do wonders with technology. You guys can go and provide flawless IT solutions to world-class companies. You guys can make computers talk to each other. You can build a network. You can build servers. You know what a server actually is. You know it, man, you know it!

Yet you believe in some hocus pocus. Not any ordinary pull-a-bunny-out-of-a-hat type. Like make someone die hocus pocus.

I shall have to impress upon my people that this is pure nonsense. If this were the case, George W. Bush would have died 100 times.

Meantime, yes, my business plans on taking over the world are being sidelined because of fears of 'African signs.'

No comments:

Post a Comment