When history bubbles up and terrorises you

It's been an enchanting few days of being confronted with the legacy of Partition. Did Partition make our lives complicated or did I make my life complicated - by marrying an Indian, I ask. 

Kavita has been diagnosed with nephrotic syndrome. The weight of this reality is crushing as my younger brother Tariq had to live with it most of his childhood into his teens. The last relapse he had was when he was 17. My brother hardly likes to talk about his nephrotic since he spent most of his childhood as very nerdy and chubby and, except for PE (which he almost always failed), was an A+ student. And, he used to get moody sometimes. That was all because of steroids he was on. I remember bottles of urine dip sticks which measured protein in the bathrooms. He had to regularly check his pee.  He was always shorter than me and, when he hit puberty, he shot up and, slimmed down. He got over the nephrotic syndrome but he hardly ever likes to talk about it. 

My mother still talks about the ordeal of his illness with high drama in her characteristic style. In so many ways it is still about her and how much grief she went through seeing her baby so sick. Tariq also had a tumour on his leg when he was born so he was in the hospital a lot. 

When my father gets angry at his kids, he recounts the times he carried us in his arms to the hospital, in rickshaws (when my bellybutton started bleeding apparently after I was born) and in airplanes (Tariq from Turkey or Romania to more advanced countries with better healthcare). 

So, when Kavita got diagnosed with the nephrotic, my parents and indeed brother started freaking out. They started reliving the trauma of those years. From what I remember, my brother was handled with kid gloves. He was not encouraged to be very active. And, he was sick. A lot. Throughout his childhood. A lot of unsolicited advice has been been given, in turn, freaking me out. I've started feeling the stress and sense of loss over a boring and inactive childhood for Kavita. Kavita who loves exercise and, can do 150 sit-ups already. 

What makes things so complicated is that Haresh was back in Liberia while I have been here on a family visit. Kavita 's nephrotic was diagnosed and, it shocked all of us. Being away from us has made it even more stressful as a family.  He got on the first flight to India to get a Pakistan visa and, cross the border. He has visited Pakistan twice before : once in 2011 and then in 2014. Each time was through New Delhi.