Marigolds, marigolds everywhere 🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

Movie Review: ⭐⭐⭐ out of 5/ Terminator Dark Fate

Loving all the feminist reboots in cinema this year. Terminator Dark Fate with three kick-ass steel-strong female sheroes is enjoyable, if only just to see an older but buff as hell Sarah Connor kick ass and, talk shit. But she was too stiff and annoying and even, the augmented Grace sent back from the future couldn't bear her. And, talk about Grace's screen presence. Still, when I get older I want to be like her: tough, ripped, mean and spewing cuss words left and right. While Grace was explaining her mission to Ramos, Sarah Connor ranted at the irony of another Mother Mary having to be saved but refreshingly, Ramos isn't merely a vessel to produce a son who will save the world but was going to be saved for herself, as the future warrior who would lift up an Army to fight the machines. If that ain't a feminist reboot that also takes a punch at Abrahamic ideology, I don't know what is. Furthermore, we also see a clever dig at Trump's Wall and his cages of refugees. Take that Trump and, F*** your wall. Arnie makes a great comeback as older Terminator who has learned how to be human and, again sacrifices himself in a factory/power plant, forcing me to shed more tears, remembering the great Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Who knows, is this Arnie's last reprisal as Terminator? It's a nice time to be alive, all these feminist reboots and, great sequels to films we loved as kids and teenagers (except for Star Wars, I'm not interested in the origin story of Hans Solo or Luke Skywalker, you're just milking it and laughing all the way to the Bank). In fact, while you explain these movies to your kids, it's amazing how they all make sense and, how the themes kind of run parallel and, how pleasurable it is to see actors come together again on the screen. The Matrix and Terminator films are phenomenal in their dark predictions of technology and machines coming to kill us. And, it was really nice to see Keanu Reeves and Laurence Fishborne come together this year in John Wick 3 (Matrix with knives): Neo and Morpheus, Hero and Mentor, Hero and Believer. Terminator and Sarah Connor, nice to see you back this year. #TalkingMovies

Seeds gardens and bottles and cans and tea bags

"Liberia" by Kavita ❤️🇱🇷

Music is the key, an original song by Kavita

Colourful fruit chaat

Practicing Urdu

Adding new words to English

Kavita and I added some new words to the English language. Please see below and, since these are for free, you may start using them immediately in your writing, e-mails, essays, and chatting. Please don't use our words for small. We hate small talk. 

Zerosity: being completely empty of ideas and Branistic: meaning, having a lot of ideas

Another one, another idea: Ideaif: having a lot of ideas

Vicokistic: having a lot of feelings

Bordeath: when you are sick and tired of being around people, especially small-taking people (people who love small talk)

Icklish: Feeling incredibly annoyed and insulted at being around bratty, spoiled and boring children and their parents

Firistic: something that is very cool 

And while we were contributing new words to English, a cat came into the living room and started proceeding towards the kitchen. We shooed her away.

Shaping and growing a movement

I joined a socialist feminist organisation earlier this year. Having had this much time in Pakistan at a stretch, I was finally able to join one of the progressive movements I've been following online. I've participated in a few events as well as organising/administrative meetings. 

Women's Democratic Front is a young organisation and, it was founded hardly a year or two ago. So, it is still in its infancy and, is looking to increase its membership and impact.

The founder of the group, Ismat Shahjahan, has been in politics for many years and, is also a leader in the Awami Workers Party. Awami Workers Party is apparently the only leftist party that acknowledges the feminist struggle. I met Ismat in F-10 Markaz last year during the elections campaigns. She ran as an AWP candidate in the national elections.  I admired the courage and boldness of Ismat and, by following her online, got to know of AWP and WDF events and activities.

My first real contact with WDF this year was at an organising meeting for the Aurat Azadi March 2019. I had reached out to Ismat and, since she wasn't in town (she was in Sindh to participate in the March there), she told me to attend an organising meeting. I was very impressed at the meeting which had at least 20-25 women, not just from WDF but other groups too. It was overwhelming but also extremely impressive to see how much work and planning was involved in putting together the Aurat Azadi March which Pakistani patriarchy still can't get over.

Participating in the March was exhilarating and, had a raw, intense emotional current. It was a space and moment for women, by women.

After that, I attended a few protests where AWP, WDF and, other progressive participated. PPP's figures have also showed up at some of the protests. Turnout is minimal and, I get surprised each time at how few youngsters turn up. The Press Club started feeling like a small encampment of feeble resistance. Sitting on the ground listening to a passionate speech, surrounded by a handful of people, many of them familiar faces, surrounded by police officers (sometimes more than the protestors), I have wondered at the futility of it.

Because student unions were banned back in the 70s by the military regime, organised student politics and political expression was completely wiped out. The ground and space where politics and idealism should flourish was attacked and, although bans on student unions have been lifted, universities have been overtaken by right-wing groups. "Students become radicalised in Pakistani universities" someone told me recently when I spoke about how politically conscious and organised students were in London, during my own undergrad and grad years.

Secular and socialist politics has struggled to take root and, if students and youngsters are not exposed to secular and leftist ideas, where does that leave us?

Being a feminist organisation, WDF's challenges are staggering.  Pakistan is a highly conservative society and, although privileged folks will tell you otherwise, it is shamefully one of the worst places to be a woman. I was recently preparing for a job interview in the UN system and, while familiarising myself with the numbers and stats, I was reminded again of how Pakistan is also just one of the worst places to be a human: we have "multi-dimensional poverty," hunger, malnutrition, and babies as young as 6 months old are stunted. It should  not really be surprising that right-wing attitudes and ignorance reign supreme because how else can you explain such inequality? Someone is benefiting from this set up.

WDF, AWP and another student group (I forget the acronym) organise Study Circles as tools to educate themselves and the public on seminal political texts, theories, and concepts. Besides that, they also organise protests and marches. Social media is used extensively to announce events, record speeches, and share statements. WDF publishes an Urdu magazine.  I can't read Urdu so I don't know what style or impact the publication has. It's a political group and, is organised with elected positions and, protocols. Many events and activities overlap with AWP and other groups and, WDF is making an effort to have visibility and identity.

What has impressed me the most is how dedicated and passionate the women are, especially the younger ones. A lot of hard work goes into the events and, everything is self-funded.

Being a socialist feminist group, WDF's challenge is to raise class consciousness from a feminist perspective. Somehow, good feminism is taken well by some polite and cultured Pakistani society: educate your daughters, let them work, have careers and, consider them as equal humans.  However, not all polite and cultured folks might accord full personal liberties to their daughters and wives when it comes to dress, choice of marriage, and speaking up. And, for sure, no one is bothered about the plight of the working class women who toil in the fields, clean our homes and toilets, take care of our spoiled children, and so on. And, we certainly don't want to talk too loudly about sexual violence against women, honour killings. And, who dares to talk about the structures and powers that condone this system? The challenges that WDF faces are truly staggering.

While it is all good to think about the historical and material conditions which are responsible for the apathy amongst the public when it comes to issues of injustice, poverty and class inequality but on an individual level, how do you explain this apathy? How do you counter this apathy? I personally feel there is sense of fatality as well as entrenched faith-derived ideas that explain the lack of interest in secular politics, particularly leftist ideas. Being an Islamic country, there's a sense there are social solutions which faith has outlined which merely need to be implemented correctly. So, countering this ideology is going to be crucial.

Among other practical challenges that WDF faces they are:

- How do you bring more young women into your fold?
- Are men invited along, too ?
- What types of activities and events should be organised?
- Which public spaces are available to us?
- Where can we meet?
- What topic should we address in our Study Circles?
- Are we a movement ? Are we a feminist space?

There is a very strong intellectual lens and style through which the movement is being defined and moulded. There is also a sense that the Left needs to move beyond protest and translate its politics into action.

I imagine that WDF will somehow attract more women into its organisation but it will take time. The Aurat Azadi March seems to be a significant catalyst for bringing more and more women into the public space to raise their voices, frustrations and ideals. Most women who attend this March are of all stripes and hues, liberal feminists, faith-based feminists, not-even-feminists, etc. The challenge will be to harness this energy to push forward a socialist feminist cause which has a clearer agenda in terms of what it wants to achieve. Perhaps real tangible short-term goals like winning more legal/constitutional victories for domestic workers or victims of sexual violence could be a start.

Here's to imagining a just and bright future for Pakistani women and beyond. 

Islamabad Lit Fest : Day 3

I attended the last day of the 2019 Islamabad Literature Festival on Sunday, 29 September. I attended these sessions:

- Depicting Women in Literature and Drama with Haseena Moin, Noorul Huda Shah, Asghar Nadeem Syed, Shahnaz Sheikh and the Moderator was Maheen Usmani
- Pakistani Adab aur Taneesiat (Feminism) with Kishwar Naheed and the Moderator was Hameed Shahid
- Shanul Haq Haqqee Ki Yaad Mein with Anwar Maqsood, Fateh Muhammad Malik and Moderator was Najeeba Arif
- Pakistan: The Economy of an Elitist State with Ishrat Husain, Asad Umar, Waqar Masoon Khan, Melinda Good and, the Moderator was Sakib Sherani
- Pakistani Cinema: The Rise, the Fall...and the Rise Again? with Humayun Saeed, Usman Mukhtar, Khalid Saeed Butt, Naghma Begum, Areeba Alvi, Nadeem Baig and Moderator was Raju Jamil
- Satire in the Time of Tabdeeli with Fasi Zaka, Ali Aftab Saeed, and George Fulton and, Moderated by Nadeem Farooq Paracha

I only managed to attend the 3rd day of the Islamabad Lit Fest. I wish I had come back from Lahore earlier to catch the sessions with Mohammed Hanif, Pervez Hoodbhoy, etc.

I attended the Islamabad Literature Festival back in 2014 at the same venue (Margalla Hotel). I think they need to change the venue as it's too small for the crowds that throng the Festival. Even the ground where they had food and book stalls was too stuffed. Compared to the elegant Lahore Literature Festival, this event felt very shabby. I was very annoyed with all the pushing, shoving, rude audience that was talking loudly into their phones during panel discussions, and screaming children.

What's worse, the quality of the discussions was extremely poor. For a literary festival, you would imagine one would have a rare chance to see some very intellectual conversations. Instead I heard cheap jokes, interrupting moderators, and no sense of where the discussion might go. For the session on cinema, one would have thought we would have had a film historian or cultural critic who would ask some smart questions about acting methods or film genres and so on.

I was not impressed to see that the Moderator for Depicting Women in Literature and Drama was so young. I would have imagined a more senior personality would be in conversation with guests such as Haseena Moin or Shahnaz Sheikh. Or, someone who is cultural critic or an expert in history of television. She first corrected the introduction about herself that she wasn't merely a journalist but also a published author. She would continue to exchange a quiet but sarcastic tone with Shahnaz Sheikh. It was really bad taste and, disappointing. There were some prepared questions yes none of them aimed to create an in-depth conversation. 

So proud of my little trees 🥭

Impressions of Mumbai

Mumbai is very green, full of ancient banyan trees. It's tropical and rains all the time (in the rainy season, yes, that's what I meant). I am struck by how much I am reminded of Monrovia. It's often said that Karachi is like Bombay and, Delhi like Lahore. I am neither a Lahori or a Karachiite and, have only visited the two as a tourist but can safely say Karachi isn't much like Bombay.

Mumbai is utterly green and, in the rainy season, everything is drenched in water. The light is that muted white pale light of the monsoon season. I love this city, by the sea.

Karachi is not as lush or green like Mumbai in the rain, it's quite arid and, from all that I read, green spaces are shrinking in Karachi. 

As for infrastructure and scale, Mumbai is a real city that has mass transit, cafés, bars, cinema, theatre, museums and, the big city feel.

And, Gawd, was it good to get a drink. I had Indian red wine at house parties and, it was really good. I had cocktails at restaurants. What a delight it is to be able to enjoy a drink with your lunch in the afternoon!

I am absolutely enjoying the Metro and "local trains." Karachi like all big cities in Pakistani cities doesn't have a modern subway system and neither is it a walking city.

Apartments are small and compact. I enjoyed getting a sense of life in an apartment building, as old as the one where we stayed, where Haresh had grown up as a kid. The building (Avinash) has an elevator with 2 gates and, there are 14 or 15 floors. To see such an old-style lift moving up and down, operated by a watchman in a cap and uniform, took me back to another time, another world. I started thinking of contraptions and, nuts and bolts. How mechanical.

There are shops in the same apartment complex - a laundry, a grocery shop, even a salon. Auto rickshaws stop right at the gate and, there are shops and restaurants all in walking distance, one after another. We bought some fruit and Haresh asked the fruitwallah to deliver it to the apartment. All he had to do was mention the name of the building and apartment number. How convenient.

Haresh's childhood friends were still living in the same apartments, ones in which they had grown up with their parents. We visited a few , including one who was staying at one of the top floors. My head started spinning at the eagle-eye view of the city, breezy but too high for my vertigo.

I am quite intrigued at how such small space is utilised in a small flat : compact kitchens, bedrooms and cupboards. Owners have covered up the balconies to extend their rooms. Laundry is hung right outside the window on clothes railings - I keep wondering how clothes must sometimes fly away.

Haresh was constantly becoming nostalgic:

"We once dared each other to make 100 rounds of the building and, I won."
"I used to race against the lift and, always won."
"That man once threatened to beat my friend for being rude but he couldn't catch up with my friend who ran away."

A friend of Haresh's joked about a Parsi lady who would be constantly spying on the security guards. Apparently, she was doing a better job in looking out for the building society. However, she was also too fussy and, was annoyingly too strict. Haresh, of course, said she was very sweet and always liked meeting Haresh.

When leaving or entering the building, we would constantly run into someone or the other Haresh knew, especially kids of friends. "Look how much you've grown."

For someone like me, the idea that people live all their lives in one home and even, their children choose to stay in the same apartment or building is quite novel. My childhood was all over the world so I can't imagine a life that is physically static.

Apparently this apartment block will be knocked down to build a more modern one.

We were invited to dinner parties at friends' in other parts of town with newer apartment buildings with slightly bigger apartments. But for sure, everyone lives in apartment buildings.

Only movie stars live in bungalows and, fans come from all over to pay homage to the house Amitabh Bachan lives in (apparently, he moved out of his home after Abishek Bachan got married), in Juhu. Shah Rukh Khan's house is called Mannat and, is in Bandra. We passed by both of these. Haresh pointed out the apartment building Lata Mangeshkar lives in. I wondered why only male movie stars' homes were famous.

When I thought of Lata Mangeshkar, the nightingale of Hindi films, living a quiet life in an apartment tin Mumbai, I also thought of Annapurna Devi, the wife of Ravi Shankar who had apparently spent all her life in her Bombay flat. Somehow, reading an article about the most accomplished musician surfaced to my mind.

But that's not all. Visiting Mumbai for the first time is staggering because it is the city of Hindi cinema and, what a treat to be in the city of dreams.

And, speaking of films, I felt like all the movies and songs I ever watched were being evoked all over the place. Especially along the curves of Marine Drive and Bandstand, along the sea.

Cities by the ocean seem to be more cosmopolitan, outward looking and, have that beachy and breezy vibe. You can always look out to the sea.

I had a sense that Bombay would be very very overwhelming, teeming with people on the street, everywhere. Haresh seemed so stressed when taking the train into town, and kept warning me about the sea of people on the local trains. For sure, a few times, one was shoved and pushed as people boarded the train or were trying to get off. But walking in town or even on the train stations, I didn't feel overwhelmed. Of course, I did not experience peak hour rush or really crowded areas but neither did I feel a sense of alienation or particularly rude behaviour on the street. I remember feeling very fed up of New York and how big it was but that was because we were trying to navigate the city, we had the stroller and, New York (despite always feeling so excited about seeing it) felt hostile.

However, Bombay is a metropolis in the classic sense: it is big, commutes from one end of town to another are very long and tiring, and, people are busy. I did not get disappointed or frustrated with any aspect of the big city because as a Pakistani, it is a sheer treat to be able to experience Bombay. I was oblivious to garbage (and one could see garbage or trashed mangroves or shanty towns along the local train tracks). I was taking it all in, enjoying every second.

Visiting India as a Pakistani

Visiting India as a Pakistani is full of burdens and, requires a responsible mindset. As overjoyed as I am to be able to finally visit India, to have finally crossed that treacherous border for while millions and millions died and, so many women were raped and humiliated, I am constantly weighed down by anxiety and thoughts of my limited stay here, confined to a city - specific visa that expires soon. I have seen faces wither or get confused when I mention to folks that I am visiting from Pakistan. I sometimes feel as if I am coming from a very far-off country that people have a very obscure or terrible sense of. Even so-called knowledgeable people have such a vague sense of Pakistan, almost like meeting a unread and untraveled American or European that we colonised people like to poke fun at self-righteously. 

"I better not start any political conversations about Modi Ji or Kashmir" I think to myself, reminding myself to present a good-mannered version of myself! The responsibility! 

My visa was finally awarded after 2 rejections on a medical basis rather than for Tourist or Family Visit, which is tinged with a frustrated sadness. Also, it's a particularly terrible year for Pakistani-Indian relations which have always swung between Bad to Terrible or No Hope For Any Normal Relations and so on. 

I know that family separated by Partition still visit each other, maybe this accounts for a couple thousand people. I know India grants medical visas to Pakistanis, probably mostly poor ones because the rich folks want to get advanced medical treatment in UK or the US. Pakistan regularly grants Sikhs visa to visit holy sites. But beyond that, there's not much flow of people and, after 72 years of Partition, Pakistanis and Indians simply do not know each other. We routinely also stop trade of onions and tomatoes, is it?  It's a bloody colonial shame. 

I think it is the height of irony that Pakistan and India literally only know each other as enemies while the British are not even slightly frowned upon. In fact, we regularly buy our weapons from the British so we can bomb and obliterate each other. Who has become the Enemy and why? 

History's burdens are very heavy. 

Crossing the Border into India and Amritsar

Even while thinking all these anti-colonial thoughts I crossed the border with Kavita on a very hot  desi September with bubbling excitement. We had finally made it to India and, were going to meet Haresh in Amritsar later in the day. 

Huge flags of Pakistan and India are visible quite a ways off as you approach Wagah. A very rackety and strange little train car (the one at amusement parks) picks you up on the Pakistani side and, you go through checks, immigration and customs before crossing a huge gate into the Indian side. A trolley is given to you on the Indian side for your bags. The Pakistani baggage handlers changed some Pak Rupees into Indian ones.  I crossed the border at around 3 PM (the border closes at 3:30 PM) and, crowds and crowds were filling up the stadium on the Indian side for the boot-kicking border ceremony. Kavita and I piled into a cool bus (much better than that rackety car) which took us to the Indian Immigration and Customs where in hardly a few minutes I was done with all formalities. Exchanges with officials were pleasant on both sides. 

It's a haunted border - not only haunted by the legacy of the Partition but also by how a bare trickle of people cross it every day.  The border is a testament to what a success colonialism and nationalism are in terms of dividing people and, how there is no desire by the masses to overcome this cruel legacy.

But enough of these depressing thoughts! So what if