I find it ironic when I see parents from non-English cultures not making the effort to teach their children their mother tongue when abroad or even in their own countries.
I myself have turned atheist and secular since my 20s and, have been shaping an identity and set of beliefs since then. When religion gets thrown out of the window, there's a danger of forgetting to retain the cultural heritage because much of our habits, mannerisms, and even artistic expressions are tied to the belief in God and, complex religious traditions. I was seized by a panic lately that I would die in a cultural vacuum if I did not lay claim to my cultural heritage and identity and, seeing others walking through life without any focus for their cultural roots started looking odd.
For me, the start to one's culture has to start from the language. We have to be able to read and write our mother tongue and, also know our intellectual and cultural heritage. We have to set ourselves up to higher standards. Knowing European philosophers, writers and musicians is not enough. We have to read our own writers.
The atrocious slaughter of English and Urdu on Pakistani in ads and films and dramas horrifies me. What a far cry from the Urdu we heard spoken in the TV dramas we grew up with. Even the most average Bollywood Hindi film up until the 90s was scripted in perfect Urdu.
I myself have turned atheist and secular since my 20s and, have been shaping an identity and set of beliefs since then. When religion gets thrown out of the window, there's a danger of forgetting to retain the cultural heritage because much of our habits, mannerisms, and even artistic expressions are tied to the belief in God and, complex religious traditions. I was seized by a panic lately that I would die in a cultural vacuum if I did not lay claim to my cultural heritage and identity and, seeing others walking through life without any focus for their cultural roots started looking odd.
For me, the start to one's culture has to start from the language. We have to be able to read and write our mother tongue and, also know our intellectual and cultural heritage. We have to set ourselves up to higher standards. Knowing European philosophers, writers and musicians is not enough. We have to read our own writers.
The atrocious slaughter of English and Urdu on Pakistani in ads and films and dramas horrifies me. What a far cry from the Urdu we heard spoken in the TV dramas we grew up with. Even the most average Bollywood Hindi film up until the 90s was scripted in perfect Urdu.
It makes me realise that I need to make the effort to teach Kavita Urdu myself (at least I can speak Urdu reasonably well) and, find a teacher for her. I should also try to teach myself Urdu.
When you occupy the "international third space", in a country abroad, mingling with folks from all over the world, the seemingly upwardly mobile international class working in the aid and private sectors, you can sometimes get lost in a confusing cultural moment. I am used to living "abroad" all my life and have had a very clear sense of my Pakistani identity. Still, as you create and live your life abroad as an adult, you need to remember to sustain your cultural identity beginning with your language, dress, cuisine, keeping in touch with your politics and news, and so on. If you forget all that, I am really not sure what your identity is, anymore, then.
I do believe that there is a certain arrogance in the assertion of one's identity in this "international third space." In the work and social circles, I feel I sometimes have to counter 'Western cultural hegemony' by asserting my own views and ideas. What are these ideas and views? Anti-colonial and, a reverence for my own cultural heritage. Learning French or knowing opera or who Tom Cruise is isn't the only "culture" around. I sometimes may be accused of asserting my own perception of 'high-brow' culture by insisting on playing only certain types of music and films for dinner parties and movie nights at my place. Whatever.
Aboo surrounded us with ideas from history, literature, music and film. We were given lectures on problems of the Third World when we were hardly 10 years old. We were made to watch Apu around the same time. Even our religious training consisted of links to politics and science. For instance, he said, "All great prophets were early Marxists because they wanted to liberate their people, take for example, Moses." He also explained how science and belief in God not only co-exist but are completely dependent on each other. Aboo would tell us stories from Shakespeare, read one of the Romantic English poets, and, tell us stories in Urdu. He would teach us how to write Urdu and read the Quran. Important works were reviewed by him for their greatness or less-than-greatness. Of course, we were taught about the terrible American war crimes the world over. We were subjected to all kinds of difficult music and random long lectures.
Ami, too, was constantly teaching us. She was always correcting our behaviour and, regaling us with stories of her childhood and, sharing anecdotes about important films and songs and movie stars. She taught us the important ayat's.
Homeschooling is a new term. I see it, as rather, upbringing because all my first education was done by my parents. They taught me to read and write and, think about the world.
I am in no rush to spend a fortune at this point for Kavita and, would rather teach her myself. I have been saying this to myself for quite some time now and, even subjected Kavita to a lot of lessons.
I've lost track of how many excellent essays and articles I've read in American publications discussion the state of public education, impact of technology on children, and comparisons with European educational systems. The obsession with perfect pre schools to start early orientation for future illustrious academic careers has been pored over. Recently, this Atlantic piece came up in my Newsfeed again and, I read it with renewed attention: The New Preschool Is Crushing Kids. It's a very good read and, believe the scenario described here can applied to many countries, not just the United States. Society is not only changing the age when children start going to school but also dumping a lot of academic-heavy work on them. It's a rat race. I myself have seen it here in Monrovia: Kids Nest and Cachelle gave out homework sheets to the kids. What I took away from this piece this time was that despite everything, children in pre - schools and kindergartens are not faring well. There has been a shift from a sense of protected childhood to a prepared childhood. Everyone is hyping themselves up and, in turn are hyping their children up. Academic-heavy education should start as early as possible so that their children don't get left behind. The author says that pre-school teachers should focus on building relationships and, speaking i.e. conversation. Apparently, studies show that the print-graphic heavy work that children are being subjected to isn't really yielding outcomes.
And, I might be blamed for the same type of focus. In reaction to everyone going on about starting Kavita's educational career, I have been planning and implementing "home schooling." I am keen that Kavita should start learning reading and, handling math. What is the rush? Will she not eventually learn how to read, write and learn multiplication tables? Wasn't primary school supposed to do all this ?
If you think about it, if modern society has started shoving their nappy-wearing children into day cares, into the cares of other adults to take care of their children, then they are also delegating the literal job of bringing up their children. And, what does bringing up your children actually mean?
I'll be honest. I am not crazy about children and, most times I either don't find them so cute or properly well behaved. I mean, I am used to going gaa gaa over children because desi families love children, men, women and other kids alike. Especially those related to us. But as an adult, I don't always find children so lovable. What I do find impressive is a well-behaved child, even a small one. Last year, a 10-year old children who has been to my house and we have met with many times merely passed by at a party, not even pausing to properly greet me. It rather disgusted me. I thought to myself: manners, respect for elders and, politeness are important. Why should all this be thrown out of the water in the name of modernity, technology, and "prepared childhoods"?
I don't know if I am turning into my mother at this stage of life but I do appreciate all her strict rules: sit like this, talk like this, don't talk back to me, say salaam to your uncle, properly speak, aren't you going to serve tea, please call so and so ask about their health, speak gently, etc. I know that sometimes, constant nagging can kill the spirit of a child but the right balanced nagging can create a properly behaved child.
If we are dumping children younger and younger into fancy pre-schools, we are also dumping the responsibility of teaching manners and culture to a third-entity. This point can be deeply emphasised for these "third international spaces."
The more and more time Kavita spends with me, I can impart on her values, respect, and manners. And what's more, I myself can take up the challenge to teach her the first steps in reading, writing, drawing, art, music and so on. I can give Kavita a sense of the world through my long lectures and rants. She will have a sense of who she is and where she comes from. This will be Kavita's parhai likhai.
Ami, too, was constantly teaching us. She was always correcting our behaviour and, regaling us with stories of her childhood and, sharing anecdotes about important films and songs and movie stars. She taught us the important ayat's.
Homeschooling is a new term. I see it, as rather, upbringing because all my first education was done by my parents. They taught me to read and write and, think about the world.
I am in no rush to spend a fortune at this point for Kavita and, would rather teach her myself. I have been saying this to myself for quite some time now and, even subjected Kavita to a lot of lessons.
I've lost track of how many excellent essays and articles I've read in American publications discussion the state of public education, impact of technology on children, and comparisons with European educational systems. The obsession with perfect pre schools to start early orientation for future illustrious academic careers has been pored over. Recently, this Atlantic piece came up in my Newsfeed again and, I read it with renewed attention: The New Preschool Is Crushing Kids. It's a very good read and, believe the scenario described here can applied to many countries, not just the United States. Society is not only changing the age when children start going to school but also dumping a lot of academic-heavy work on them. It's a rat race. I myself have seen it here in Monrovia: Kids Nest and Cachelle gave out homework sheets to the kids. What I took away from this piece this time was that despite everything, children in pre - schools and kindergartens are not faring well. There has been a shift from a sense of protected childhood to a prepared childhood. Everyone is hyping themselves up and, in turn are hyping their children up. Academic-heavy education should start as early as possible so that their children don't get left behind. The author says that pre-school teachers should focus on building relationships and, speaking i.e. conversation. Apparently, studies show that the print-graphic heavy work that children are being subjected to isn't really yielding outcomes.
And, I might be blamed for the same type of focus. In reaction to everyone going on about starting Kavita's educational career, I have been planning and implementing "home schooling." I am keen that Kavita should start learning reading and, handling math. What is the rush? Will she not eventually learn how to read, write and learn multiplication tables? Wasn't primary school supposed to do all this ?
If you think about it, if modern society has started shoving their nappy-wearing children into day cares, into the cares of other adults to take care of their children, then they are also delegating the literal job of bringing up their children. And, what does bringing up your children actually mean?
I'll be honest. I am not crazy about children and, most times I either don't find them so cute or properly well behaved. I mean, I am used to going gaa gaa over children because desi families love children, men, women and other kids alike. Especially those related to us. But as an adult, I don't always find children so lovable. What I do find impressive is a well-behaved child, even a small one. Last year, a 10-year old children who has been to my house and we have met with many times merely passed by at a party, not even pausing to properly greet me. It rather disgusted me. I thought to myself: manners, respect for elders and, politeness are important. Why should all this be thrown out of the water in the name of modernity, technology, and "prepared childhoods"?
I don't know if I am turning into my mother at this stage of life but I do appreciate all her strict rules: sit like this, talk like this, don't talk back to me, say salaam to your uncle, properly speak, aren't you going to serve tea, please call so and so ask about their health, speak gently, etc. I know that sometimes, constant nagging can kill the spirit of a child but the right balanced nagging can create a properly behaved child.
If we are dumping children younger and younger into fancy pre-schools, we are also dumping the responsibility of teaching manners and culture to a third-entity. This point can be deeply emphasised for these "third international spaces."
The more and more time Kavita spends with me, I can impart on her values, respect, and manners. And what's more, I myself can take up the challenge to teach her the first steps in reading, writing, drawing, art, music and so on. I can give Kavita a sense of the world through my long lectures and rants. She will have a sense of who she is and where she comes from. This will be Kavita's parhai likhai.
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