If you are a long timer in Monrovia

If you are a long timer in Monrovia, you are most likely going to have an opinion on social life and, whether or not you are compatible with the size and people of Monrovia. 

Invite me to your party and not give me food? 

Last Saturday morning, we were at TM Mall at Kavita's school friend's birthday party which started at 1030 hrs and ended at around 1300 hrs. Kavita, Haresh and I reached there at 1130 hrs. 

Sitting together with a few other parents, we quietly complained at how there was no food. It was rather unbelievable and, this made for some good solid griping. 

"Who invites you to a party and doesn't serve you food?" 

"We didn't even have breakfast!" 

"What kind of cultural difference is this? Who invites you and doesn't give you food?" 

"Sick and tired of this and potluck parties." 

"Yeah, they invite you and you have to bring food." 

"Maybe they don't have money."

"No, they have money. They just returned from vacation."

"Is this really a white people thing?" 

We had to go and buy our own food at the nearby Chinese restaurant. We kept talking more and more about cultural differences when it comes to hospitality. Naturally, we concluded are more hospitable and honourable. 

The topic of discussion then swerved to general life in Monrovia and how it compares to other West African cities. One of the mothers came to Liberia after marriage about 3-4 years ago and, it turned out she is married to the owner of a well-known supermarket here which I was very pleased to hear about. How small is Monrovia, I thought to myself. 

"How'd you both meet?" I asked. She said they are cousins and met in Lebanon. She herself was born in The Gambia and, remarked how racist people here are. She was bargaining with street sellers and, they told her she is 'white' she must have more money. I told her it's not really racist. I even used to find it insulting when I first came to Liberia and, on my walks I was referred to as 'white woman' or 'Indian woman.' But of course, over the years, I have come to understand that everyone is referred to by the 'colour' or perceived nationality: 'White man,' 'Indian man,' 'Lebanese man,' etc. Even Liberians seem to have a colour gradient and, will refer to a lighter skinned fellow Liberian as 'fair skin.' But most importantly, I told her, people here banter! Liberians love to joke. 

Liberians do really love to joke and tease and, if you love to complain about life here, at least give Liberians some credit for their humour!

The lady said she didn't think the Lebanese or Indian community here were so friendly. The other mom also said it was quite hard to make friends here. I nodded and said after spending so much time in Liberia, I also sometimes still feel like an outsider. But in the end it's quite subjective, I said. 

White Man Broke Wall and Has to Pay For It

A friend and I exited Mamba Point after a lunch date and, observed that a large part of the fence (not the one next to Cape but the residences next to it) was broken, bricks strewn everywhere and, it was being rebuilt. We walked towards it and, asked the security guard (who is in the parking lot directing cars) what happened? He said "The white man broke it and now has to rebuild it from his own expense." We burst into laughter! "White man can't drive?" my friend asked. The security guard gravely shook his head.

We looked at the man who was standing over a few labourers laying bricks. He looked quite grumpy. Why didn't he just give the money to Mamba Point Hotel and, they would have had the wall rebuilt, we wondered? Why did he want to oversee the work himself? My friend pretended to take a photo of the trees and, took a photo of the scene. 

Can't forget how smug the security guard was.

What do you think of Monrovia? 

A few girlfriends and I met (with Haresh and Kavita of course, too - Haresh was the only token man there) at Mama Susu's for our usual Monday-night-at-Mama-Susu's combined with my friend's birthday. How nice it is to be around more women friends! Afterwards, we had tea at our apartment.

One of the women has not even been in Monrovia for a year so, as always, it is interesting to ask a newcomer what they think of Monrovia?

"Don't really like Monrovia."

"People don't have work ethics. Corruption is rampant. Very little professional integrity."

This woman is African-American so did I hold more weight to these observations and, not necessarily see this as generalist and racist comments?

This woman is a journalist so maybe I give her more benefit of doubt? We didn't really have time to get into a deeper debate. But like I said, I am interested in hearing what newcomers have to say.

One of the women is a Liberian-American and, I also find it interesting to hear what brought folks back to Liberia to work. Is it a love for one's homeland? Sense of belonging? This woman says she doesn't see herself staying permanently and, is eager to go elsewhere to continue to build her career. She also didn't think that it is a must for folks in the diaspora to feel compelled to come back to help rebuild their country. If anything, let youngsters earn professional skills and trades before even trying to come back.

These are practical issues of course. But how do people really relate to their homeland? Do they feel a spiritual connection? Deep love for their country? An Australian friend (incidentally also a journalist) said she really didn't feel a longing for back home and, connects with other things. I said, even though I have spent more time outside of Pakistan then in my country, I always love going home and, feel at home, too.

What connects us to our homelands? And, do we subscribe to an idea of our countries?