Visiting India as a Pakistani

Visiting India as a Pakistani is full of burdens and, requires a responsible mindset. As overjoyed as I am to be able to finally visit India, to have finally crossed that treacherous border for while millions and millions died and, so many women were raped and humiliated, I am constantly weighed down by anxiety and thoughts of my limited stay here, confined to a city - specific visa that expires soon. I have seen faces wither or get confused when I mention to folks that I am visiting from Pakistan. I sometimes feel as if I am coming from a very far-off country that people have a very obscure or terrible sense of. Even so-called knowledgeable people have such a vague sense of Pakistan, almost like meeting a unread and untraveled American or European that we colonised people like to poke fun at self-righteously. 

"I better not start any political conversations about Modi Ji or Kashmir" I think to myself, reminding myself to present a good-mannered version of myself! The responsibility! 

My visa was finally awarded after 2 rejections on a medical basis rather than for Tourist or Family Visit, which is tinged with a frustrated sadness. Also, it's a particularly terrible year for Pakistani-Indian relations which have always swung between Bad to Terrible or No Hope For Any Normal Relations and so on. 

I know that family separated by Partition still visit each other, maybe this accounts for a couple thousand people. I know India grants medical visas to Pakistanis, probably mostly poor ones because the rich folks want to get advanced medical treatment in UK or the US. Pakistan regularly grants Sikhs visa to visit holy sites. But beyond that, there's not much flow of people and, after 72 years of Partition, Pakistanis and Indians simply do not know each other. We routinely also stop trade of onions and tomatoes, is it?  It's a bloody colonial shame. 

I think it is the height of irony that Pakistan and India literally only know each other as enemies while the British are not even slightly frowned upon. In fact, we regularly buy our weapons from the British so we can bomb and obliterate each other. Who has become the Enemy and why? 

History's burdens are very heavy. 

Crossing the Border into India and Amritsar

Even while thinking all these anti-colonial thoughts I crossed the border with Kavita on a very hot  desi September with bubbling excitement. We had finally made it to India and, were going to meet Haresh in Amritsar later in the day. 

Huge flags of Pakistan and India are visible quite a ways off as you approach Wagah. A very rackety and strange little train car (the one at amusement parks) picks you up on the Pakistani side and, you go through checks, immigration and customs before crossing a huge gate into the Indian side. A trolley is given to you on the Indian side for your bags. The Pakistani baggage handlers changed some Pak Rupees into Indian ones.  I crossed the border at around 3 PM (the border closes at 3:30 PM) and, crowds and crowds were filling up the stadium on the Indian side for the boot-kicking border ceremony. Kavita and I piled into a cool bus (much better than that rackety car) which took us to the Indian Immigration and Customs where in hardly a few minutes I was done with all formalities. Exchanges with officials were pleasant on both sides. 

It's a haunted border - not only haunted by the legacy of the Partition but also by how a bare trickle of people cross it every day.  The border is a testament to what a success colonialism and nationalism are in terms of dividing people and, how there is no desire by the masses to overcome this cruel legacy.

But enough of these depressing thoughts! So what if