Sunday walk to the park

We don't play jazz here no more. 

Jazz died on this street.

We don't take kindly to jazz here. 

End of jazz.

Started full-time academic school here in Pakistan

So, after I’ve inadvertently clocked almost a year here in Pakistan and, with our life in limbo, the family decided to put Kavita in school. My brother Tariq was visiting and, he 'nudged' me into putting Kavita into school, to put her life in 'normal' until we go back to Liberia. 

She’s almost 7 and, at least it would keep her busy and help her socialise. It was decided to put her in good old Beaconhouse in F-10/4, which is just down the road from our family home in F-11/4. "As long as I can get her out of Islamiyat , I’ll be fine with this experiment," I thought to myself. 

I promised to myself that I would take this as a good experience, be open-minded and, enjoy this experience on behalf of Kavita. As “I gave myself some very good advice,” I also felt panicky at the idea that Kavita was going to lose her individuality and precious personality in the factory that is mass education. “Cans of olives” - that’s what I kept thinking. 20 points if you guess the name of the movie. 

Getting uniforms was a very nostalgic moment, reminiscing about that 1 year that my brother and I attended Beaconhouse in Islamabad back in 88 and, my sister too got excited as she also spent some years in the Beaconhouse system. The three of us got so excited at seeing little Kavita in her uniform. The formality of the first few days made me chuckle a few times, at the rigorous schedule, the assembly, the uniform code, and all the books/copies, etc. 

It’s been hardly a couple of months but I thought I'd share what the education factory is up to. Let me just list a few observations below: 

• School starts at 8 AM and, is off at 2 PM. It's freezing cold in the mornings but apparently the classrooms are heated with an inverter unit that works as a heater and AC. 
• The uniforms are horrible. The sweater is a crappy polyester one and, it will not keep children warm in the weather. The blazer too is not nice and soft but stiff. The shoes are horrible. And, it's of course gender segregated. 
• The bathrooms are very cold and outside the main building. Kavita says she avoids going because it's so cold. Some 'ayaas' are there to help children with the bathroom. 
• It was mandatory to purchase a Rs. 13,000 “Study Pack” that weighed about 10 KGs. It was also full of cheap stationery but I couldn’t select what I wanted to buy or not, even with boxes full of stationery at home. Moreover, I was astonished that a 6 and 7 year old is expected to handle so many books and notebooks. No wonder I had seen children pulling the small wheelers everywhere as if they were about to catch a flight. 
• The Science and Maths textbooks are not Pakistani. They are British. So all references are British! Beaconhouse is the biggest private English medium profit-making school system and they haven't come up with their own textbooks yet. The English story books are of course all from English-speaking Western countries. Urdu practice books are of course local but they are archaic style, boring type and fonts and, unattractive books. The Social Studies book is Pakistani but full of patriarchal, nationalistic attitudes. 
• There is a big focus on writing beautiful penmanship. They are being taught good hand writing. 
• I was told that “it was market demand” to have such heavy academic focus at this early age by a senior Principal/Coordinator. 
• Islamiyaat is taught already at this age. Kids have been asking Kavita if she is “afraid of Allah.”  
• There was a day of Eid Milad and Iqbal day in the first few weeks. Any holidays to celebrate women, anyone? 
• The teachers do not seem to have much of a personality. I went in a few times directly into the class or drop and pick her and, I was explained later by someone in Admin that parents are not allowed to go into the class. Is the teacher not confident enough to explain rules? But before I found out about the rule, I had to remind that same class teacher 3 times that Kavita was excused from Islamiyat and would instead be given an extra Urdu class. Even speaking to her, I did not find her engaging. The Admin lady said teachers get stressed when meeting parents unless it’s planned. In fact, the class teacher seemed quite nervous. Perhaps parents have started hounding teachers, just like me? 
• I wonder how much school teachers are paid? 
• Everything is communicated through a Diary, a small notebook in which homework assignments are written and any note is given to parent. The teacher has to sign it and parent has to sign. This little nuisance literally serves as a communication gateway or e-mail server. Except it does not work. If you write a question, it may or may not get answered or, it may generate a whole unnecessary long discussion which makes you want to cry tears. 
• Kavita is a little late to the game but I would have imagined she would know how homework works by now. She should be able to take out the book from her bag and get to it. But no, she has to rely on me to figure out what’s in the Diary device, and, then guide her. After 6 hours in school, they gotta do homework. I mean, talking about killing children. I mean, talking about Finland where the free range chicken, sorry children, roam free and learn by playing. And, in Pakistan, apparently, “parents ask for more homework.” Yes, you heard that. I was told parents are happy when children are given more and more homework.
• And wait for this, children have tests. Which reminds me, they wouldn’t let me keep the admission test. The Principal was guarding it carefully and immediately took it back after I glanced at it. I couldn’t believe this flimsy test was used to “test” my highly talented and unique Kavita who makes up her own songs and, plays them and has lengthy adult conversations with big words with our adult friends. I couldn’t believe that flimsy test was used to put her in Class 1 instead of 2.  
• A child's creativity, imagination, self expression, ability to communicate, and understand concepts is not tested. Instead, the test was divided into single questions from maths, Urdu and English each. There was no other testing method. And, the Principal explained that children are doing a lot of heavy academic work and, that's how they progress from one class to another. I offered to help Kavita up to speed and put her into Class 2 (I feel Kavita is much more advanced than typical kids in terms of her creativity, self expression, maturity and, is very smart) but I was discouraged because this would be too much for Kavita. 
• They are already teaching toxic gender roles in the Social Studies class. So, the textbook lists most house chores done by Mother and, some ‘masculine’ ones are done by Father i.e. wash car. When I asked the teacher she said “ but isn’t that what mothers do?” There was also this one photograph showing a small girl serving tea to an old man. What a stupid cliché. I shudder to think what is taught in the infamous Pakistan Studies which I believe is taught in higher grades. 
• Lessons, Assembly and other activities are photographed and put on the school Facebook page. I asked them to take off Kavita's photographs. I don't like this marketing on Facebook and having our children
• I think they had another set of tests earlier in the term and, now they have 2 weeks of them - they call them CATS -  and, school is let out earlier at 12:30 PM. I helped Kavita to go over all the material but I am astonished at all the work that was involved. Some of the stuff was quite easy but some of it was a little tricky. 

On a positive note, what I do appreciate is that the Admin Staff at the front desk is very sweet. Any time I've complained or had a meltdown and expressed my shock, she has listened to it, tried to explain, or referred it to the Principal. There is no pushback or resentment or 'fleeing from the scene'. 

The fee challan is sent every month, stapled to the Diary. For a little less than 18,000 Pak Rupees per month (compare that to $ 500 we were spending with Cachelle, a preschool), Kavita is enrolled in the biggest English Medium school in Pakistan. It is a professional and organised system.

And, I strangely love the the way the kids are let out. The security guard stands at the gate and when they see the parent, they announce the name on a microphone and, the child comes running out. It's pretty fun.

I really enjoy listening to the stories Kavita has at the end of every day. There is a very very naughty boy called Z who makes so much noise, hits other kids, takes pencils and rubbers away "without permission," and, gets sent to the Principal's office. Kavita says children push and shove and don't even "say sorry." She says children keep taking away her colours and pencils and don't give back. But she's also made friends, and one of them gifted her a lovely pencil. One of her friends drew a little picture on her palm. 

How I ditched Burning Brownie for Quetta Burning Café

and, also started noticing that Islamabad is now full of Quetta cafes. 

Quetta Burning Café is in F-11 Markaz and, we often pass through it during our evening walks. I love Burning Brownie (best local coffeeshop with really good sandwiches and coffee although they need to ditch some of the outdated 50s/60s American signs/artwork that are giving backward, sexist and racist messages). A sandwich and a coffee will set you back about 1000 rupees. 

Instead at Quetta Burning Café, you can have a whole meal with naan, a sabzi and, a meat dish with chai and, whatnot for less than 1000 rupees.

Islamabad is brimming with Quetta cafés. They are everywhere and, more and more outdoor hangouts have sprung up. Islamabad is finally getting some character. 

Just in F-10 Markaz there are 4 or 5 cafés with Quetta in their name. Whaat?! And, I love their nutella parathas.

27 May 2019, F-11 Markaz

27 May 2019, F-11 Markaz

27 May 2019, F-11 Markaz

Gur wali chai

 

The menu is so hot that the tip burnt off

A very tasty meal with sweet lassi - 17 June 2019

Lunch at Quetta Burning Café, 30 June 2019 

There's a Quetta Singapore Café in Jinnah Supermarket, 3 SEP 2019 

Quetta Khan Café, 20 July 2019

Quetta Tea Center, 25 August 2019, G-8 

Quetta Tea Center, 25 August 2019, G-8 

Quetta Tea n Teas, F-10 Markaz, 17 November, love the nutella parathas

Quetta Tea n Teas, F-10 Markaz, 17 November

There's also a Quetta Kettle Tea, F-10 Markaz, 17 November

Quetta Royal Teas, F-6 Markaz, 12 December

Marigolds, marigolds everywhere 🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

Movie Review: ⭐⭐⭐ out of 5/ Terminator Dark Fate

Loving all the feminist reboots in cinema this year. Terminator Dark Fate with three kick-ass steel-strong female sheroes is enjoyable, if only just to see an older but buff as hell Sarah Connor kick ass and, talk shit. But she was too stiff and annoying and even, the augmented Grace sent back from the future couldn't bear her. And, talk about Grace's screen presence. Still, when I get older I want to be like her: tough, ripped, mean and spewing cuss words left and right. While Grace was explaining her mission to Ramos, Sarah Connor ranted at the irony of another Mother Mary having to be saved but refreshingly, Ramos isn't merely a vessel to produce a son who will save the world but was going to be saved for herself, as the future warrior who would lift up an Army to fight the machines. If that ain't a feminist reboot that also takes a punch at Abrahamic ideology, I don't know what is. Furthermore, we also see a clever dig at Trump's Wall and his cages of refugees. Take that Trump and, F*** your wall. Arnie makes a great comeback as older Terminator who has learned how to be human and, again sacrifices himself in a factory/power plant, forcing me to shed more tears, remembering the great Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Who knows, is this Arnie's last reprisal as Terminator? It's a nice time to be alive, all these feminist reboots and, great sequels to films we loved as kids and teenagers (except for Star Wars, I'm not interested in the origin story of Hans Solo or Luke Skywalker, you're just milking it and laughing all the way to the Bank). In fact, while you explain these movies to your kids, it's amazing how they all make sense and, how the themes kind of run parallel and, how pleasurable it is to see actors come together again on the screen. The Matrix and Terminator films are phenomenal in their dark predictions of technology and machines coming to kill us. And, it was really nice to see Keanu Reeves and Laurence Fishborne come together this year in John Wick 3 (Matrix with knives): Neo and Morpheus, Hero and Mentor, Hero and Believer. Terminator and Sarah Connor, nice to see you back this year. #TalkingMovies

Seeds gardens and bottles and cans and tea bags

"Liberia" by Kavita ❤️🇱🇷

Music is the key, an original song by Kavita

Colourful fruit chaat

Practicing Urdu

Adding new words to English

Kavita and I added some new words to the English language. Please see below and, since these are for free, you may start using them immediately in your writing, e-mails, essays, and chatting. Please don't use our words for small. We hate small talk. 

Zerosity: being completely empty of ideas and Branistic: meaning, having a lot of ideas

Another one, another idea: Ideaif: having a lot of ideas

Vicokistic: having a lot of feelings

Bordeath: when you are sick and tired of being around people, especially small-taking people (people who love small talk)

Icklish: Feeling incredibly annoyed and insulted at being around bratty, spoiled and boring children and their parents

Firistic: something that is very cool 

And while we were contributing new words to English, a cat came into the living room and started proceeding towards the kitchen. We shooed her away.

Shaping and growing a movement

I joined a socialist feminist organisation earlier this year. Having had this much time in Pakistan at a stretch, I was finally able to join one of the progressive movements I've been following online. I've participated in a few events as well as organising/administrative meetings. 

Women's Democratic Front is a young organisation and, it was founded hardly a year or two ago. So, it is still in its infancy and, is looking to increase its membership and impact.

The founder of the group, Ismat Shahjahan, has been in politics for many years and, is also a leader in the Awami Workers Party. Awami Workers Party is apparently the only leftist party that acknowledges the feminist struggle. I met Ismat in F-10 Markaz last year during the elections campaigns. She ran as an AWP candidate in the national elections.  I admired the courage and boldness of Ismat and, by following her online, got to know of AWP and WDF events and activities.

My first real contact with WDF this year was at an organising meeting for the Aurat Azadi March 2019. I had reached out to Ismat and, since she wasn't in town (she was in Sindh to participate in the March there), she told me to attend an organising meeting. I was very impressed at the meeting which had at least 20-25 women, not just from WDF but other groups too. It was overwhelming but also extremely impressive to see how much work and planning was involved in putting together the Aurat Azadi March which Pakistani patriarchy still can't get over.

Participating in the March was exhilarating and, had a raw, intense emotional current. It was a space and moment for women, by women.

After that, I attended a few protests where AWP, WDF and, other progressive participated. PPP's figures have also showed up at some of the protests. Turnout is minimal and, I get surprised each time at how few youngsters turn up. The Press Club started feeling like a small encampment of feeble resistance. Sitting on the ground listening to a passionate speech, surrounded by a handful of people, many of them familiar faces, surrounded by police officers (sometimes more than the protestors), I have wondered at the futility of it.

Because student unions were banned back in the 70s by the military regime, organised student politics and political expression was completely wiped out. The ground and space where politics and idealism should flourish was attacked and, although bans on student unions have been lifted, universities have been overtaken by right-wing groups. "Students become radicalised in Pakistani universities" someone told me recently when I spoke about how politically conscious and organised students were in London, during my own undergrad and grad years.

Secular and socialist politics has struggled to take root and, if students and youngsters are not exposed to secular and leftist ideas, where does that leave us?

Being a feminist organisation, WDF's challenges are staggering.  Pakistan is a highly conservative society and, although privileged folks will tell you otherwise, it is shamefully one of the worst places to be a woman. I was recently preparing for a job interview in the UN system and, while familiarising myself with the numbers and stats, I was reminded again of how Pakistan is also just one of the worst places to be a human: we have "multi-dimensional poverty," hunger, malnutrition, and babies as young as 6 months old are stunted. It should  not really be surprising that right-wing attitudes and ignorance reign supreme because how else can you explain such inequality? Someone is benefiting from this set up.

WDF, AWP and another student group (I forget the acronym) organise Study Circles as tools to educate themselves and the public on seminal political texts, theories, and concepts. Besides that, they also organise protests and marches. Social media is used extensively to announce events, record speeches, and share statements. WDF publishes an Urdu magazine.  I can't read Urdu so I don't know what style or impact the publication has. It's a political group and, is organised with elected positions and, protocols. Many events and activities overlap with AWP and other groups and, WDF is making an effort to have visibility and identity.

What has impressed me the most is how dedicated and passionate the women are, especially the younger ones. A lot of hard work goes into the events and, everything is self-funded.

Being a socialist feminist group, WDF's challenge is to raise class consciousness from a feminist perspective. Somehow, good feminism is taken well by some polite and cultured Pakistani society: educate your daughters, let them work, have careers and, consider them as equal humans.  However, not all polite and cultured folks might accord full personal liberties to their daughters and wives when it comes to dress, choice of marriage, and speaking up. And, for sure, no one is bothered about the plight of the working class women who toil in the fields, clean our homes and toilets, take care of our spoiled children, and so on. And, we certainly don't want to talk too loudly about sexual violence against women, honour killings. And, who dares to talk about the structures and powers that condone this system? The challenges that WDF faces are truly staggering.

While it is all good to think about the historical and material conditions which are responsible for the apathy amongst the public when it comes to issues of injustice, poverty and class inequality but on an individual level, how do you explain this apathy? How do you counter this apathy? I personally feel there is sense of fatality as well as entrenched faith-derived ideas that explain the lack of interest in secular politics, particularly leftist ideas. Being an Islamic country, there's a sense there are social solutions which faith has outlined which merely need to be implemented correctly. So, countering this ideology is going to be crucial.

Among other practical challenges that WDF faces they are:

- How do you bring more young women into your fold?
- Are men invited along, too ?
- What types of activities and events should be organised?
- Which public spaces are available to us?
- Where can we meet?
- What topic should we address in our Study Circles?
- Are we a movement ? Are we a feminist space?

There is a very strong intellectual lens and style through which the movement is being defined and moulded. There is also a sense that the Left needs to move beyond protest and translate its politics into action.

I imagine that WDF will somehow attract more women into its organisation but it will take time. The Aurat Azadi March seems to be a significant catalyst for bringing more and more women into the public space to raise their voices, frustrations and ideals. Most women who attend this March are of all stripes and hues, liberal feminists, faith-based feminists, not-even-feminists, etc. The challenge will be to harness this energy to push forward a socialist feminist cause which has a clearer agenda in terms of what it wants to achieve. Perhaps real tangible short-term goals like winning more legal/constitutional victories for domestic workers or victims of sexual violence could be a start.

Here's to imagining a just and bright future for Pakistani women and beyond. 

Islamabad Lit Fest : Day 3

I attended the last day of the 2019 Islamabad Literature Festival on Sunday, 29 September. I attended these sessions:

- Depicting Women in Literature and Drama with Haseena Moin, Noorul Huda Shah, Asghar Nadeem Syed, Shahnaz Sheikh and the Moderator was Maheen Usmani
- Pakistani Adab aur Taneesiat (Feminism) with Kishwar Naheed and the Moderator was Hameed Shahid
- Shanul Haq Haqqee Ki Yaad Mein with Anwar Maqsood, Fateh Muhammad Malik and Moderator was Najeeba Arif
- Pakistan: The Economy of an Elitist State with Ishrat Husain, Asad Umar, Waqar Masoon Khan, Melinda Good and, the Moderator was Sakib Sherani
- Pakistani Cinema: The Rise, the Fall...and the Rise Again? with Humayun Saeed, Usman Mukhtar, Khalid Saeed Butt, Naghma Begum, Areeba Alvi, Nadeem Baig and Moderator was Raju Jamil
- Satire in the Time of Tabdeeli with Fasi Zaka, Ali Aftab Saeed, and George Fulton and, Moderated by Nadeem Farooq Paracha

I only managed to attend the 3rd day of the Islamabad Lit Fest. I wish I had come back from Lahore earlier to catch the sessions with Mohammed Hanif, Pervez Hoodbhoy, etc.

I attended the Islamabad Literature Festival back in 2014 at the same venue (Margalla Hotel). I think they need to change the venue as it's too small for the crowds that throng the Festival. Even the ground where they had food and book stalls was too stuffed. Compared to the elegant Lahore Literature Festival, this event felt very shabby. I was very annoyed with all the pushing, shoving, rude audience that was talking loudly into their phones during panel discussions, and screaming children.

What's worse, the quality of the discussions was extremely poor. For a literary festival, you would imagine one would have a rare chance to see some very intellectual conversations. Instead I heard cheap jokes, interrupting moderators, and no sense of where the discussion might go. For the session on cinema, one would have thought we would have had a film historian or cultural critic who would ask some smart questions about acting methods or film genres and so on.

I was not impressed to see that the Moderator for Depicting Women in Literature and Drama was so young. I would have imagined a more senior personality would be in conversation with guests such as Haseena Moin or Shahnaz Sheikh. Or, someone who is cultural critic or an expert in history of television. She first corrected the introduction about herself that she wasn't merely a journalist but also a published author. She would continue to exchange a quiet but sarcastic tone with Shahnaz Sheikh. It was really bad taste and, disappointing. There were some prepared questions yes none of them aimed to create an in-depth conversation.