Times of Corona

It’s a very surreal moment. 

We experienced ebola back in 2014 and, it ravaged Liberia. But that experience felt so invisible, so awful and heart breaking because it West Africa bore it alone, save a few sensational headlines on international TV. Yes, the US and international community stepped into stop ebola but it took a long time to contain and stop transmissions. Liberia got isolated (flights suspended) and, it really felt like it was Liberia’s problem and not a global one for global public health. What’s more DRC Congo has been facing an ebola outbreak for a couple of years now.  

As long as diseases plagued poor races elsewhere , it wasn't an emergency, it wasn't a concern. Out of sight, they deserve a cursory headline, especially in Africa. We had no clue how they affect societies, health care systems, economies. 

Now COVID-19 ’s global spread has made some realise that pandemics can affect poor and rich,   that our health care systems can teeter on the brink of collapse, and re-think our flimsy, violent and toxic capitalist systems. None of us are actually prepared for epidemics. Only a couple of countries acted fast: South Korea and Hong Kong. 

We are all following WHO and, it's updates and recommendations, but still far away from putting our resources and responses together. 

This pandemic isn't invisible. It's being documented, analysed and, reported every second. I don't think it's sensationalised either for most of the reporting is soberly covering the crisis in Europe where the body pile up goes into tens of thousands. No time for sensationalism. 

It's only the time for some idiot leaders who are downplaying the severity, delaying strong measures such as lock downs or not coming up with emergency responses. 

It's still every state for itself. 

In Islamabad, within a week, there’s been a near-total lock down. This is a mainly residential, administrative capital with well to do folks with a now-growing business sector, too. The city is organised into sectors with a main commercial area or a "Markaz." 

All schools have been closed since 16 March. I was a little , shall we say, excited that school was out.  Kavita has started dreading early morning wake up time so I could take a vacation from the morning blues. That week was quite normal and,  I even met some friends. I thought if I had lived through ebola, I could get a grip on this by following protocols, understanding the epidemic and reading as much as possible. 

Of course, this is an entirely different virus with a different disease and, somehow one feels more freaked out. It seems one get can it from perfectly healthy people who may carry it up to 2 weeks and keep passing it on (One could get ebola only by those were very sick with it). 

This past week everything else shut down. Virtually all shops and restaurants and offices save for banks, groceries stores, fruit/veg vendors, and pharmacies are open in the Markaz. They are totally empty. Even dhabas seem to be closed.

This past week the furthest I've ventured to is Shifa International Hospital in H-8 because one of Kavita's medicines (she's on a daily dose of HCQ, Cellsept, Prednisolone, and Renitec) had run out in the pharmacies. (It was the HCQ - maybe this has something to do with it?  Chloroquine: Trump's misleading claims spark hoarding and overdoses) I was very stressed. I messaged Kavita's doctor (he's the head of Paeds Medicine at PIMS) but no response from him. His Assistant too promised to get back to me, but no answer. I called up Al Shifa and the Pharmacy there said they might be able to get it from me or order it for (some ignorant person clearly answered the phone). I went there at about 6 or 7 PM. Kavita insisted on coming alone. The security guard at the main entrance said he wouldn't let me go in with Kavita and she would have to stay outside. I didn't agree to leave her outside and entered the Hospital through the Emergency after explaining why I was there. I had taken the fat medical file and kept shoving it in front of everyone's face. Thankfully, the Pharmacy did have the HCQ and let me take 2 months' supply. What a relief.

I also went to the flower nurseries on Peshawar Mor. Alone. They were open and, I brought back some beautiful flowers, a few shrubs, roses and a couple of plants for an ongoing garden beautiful project. I also purchased some bird houses made of clay to hang in the trees in our garden. Our mali sleeps at our house so he's available to do gardening work. For a whole day we planted flowers everywhere and, it was a lot of fun. Good way to spend the time.

Besides that, it's been a few trips to F-10 and F-11 markets, close to our house. Everything is closed and, it's strange.

On Saturday, I decided to make a grocery, fruit/veg fresh meat run and stock up. I ordered a Careem for a trip to the market and back.  The Careem Driver put me in front of Shaheen Store in F-10 and, he was meant to wait for me for a couple of stops more before taking me back home. I asked him to put my phone on charge while I went in. When I came out, he was nowhere to be seen. He had taken off. I spent the next couple of days trying to explain to Careem what happened. Their system is utterly useless and it took them 6 hours to believe me before they started tracking down their "Captain" (how they refer to their drivers). That Captain had made up a bullshit story that his father had died and he had to rush back to his village. He called me the next day and, told me he was sending my phone back with a Careem Bike. I ended up paying for that ride and, then saw all my data had been wiped clean.

Stress upon stress.

Visiting the market was kind of sad to see it so empty but I didn't feel nervous or scared of getting the virus. Only a few shoppers were out, no kids, except the begging children. The Shaheen store was only letting in a few shoppers at a time (these are very very small supermarkets with crowded, narrow aisles). The staff at the entrance was wearing a hazmut suit and giving sanitiser drops to shoppers to clean their hands with. I was impressed. All the other shops I went to had staff at the entrance handing out sanitiser to clean hands with.

I've also been for a my usual walk round the neighbourhood with Kavita. A lot of folks can be seen walking, I suppose there's not much else to do.

Our neighbours are getting a paint job done on their exterior walls (I got that done first week school was out for a spare room ) . Otherwise, it's pretty quiet.

I've been 'at home' mostly for this whole year in Pakistan so I'm used to being at home and busy in my own little routine. I've been cooking, cleaning, watching Netflix, TV, reading and writing.

There's a lot of anxiety and stress. I keep reaching for parallels with the Ebola Epidemic , trying to find a perspective, a sense of where this is going, and how we have to deal with it. The scale of this thing is global though.

I feel I'm going to be stuck in Islamabad for quite long, now, uncertain when I'll be able to travel back to Liberia. Haresh is back there, having to go on for more time alone.

I keep going on with my normal routine but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried or stressed.   Will have to take it a day at a time. 

What a sweet afternoon

 This badam and pista barfi is so beautiful ! 

So much for the plastic ban

There is a plastic bag ban but what is the point of it if there is still so much plastic in our products. 

I mean, look at these fruits for sale: on styrofoam plates covered with a plastic film. 

There is still so much plastic out there: packaging, containers, fruit, balloons, etc. This plastic ends up in rubbish dumps, in play grounds, streets, trees, dumpsters etc. 

A plastic bag ban will be effective if plastic packaging is also banned. 

Profiteering in the time of Corona

This 'Shaheen' hand sanitiser was at first 600 rupees and at the counter it was 350 rupees. I did not purchase it but was a little enraged at the profiteering. Hand sanitiser can be made at home using anything which you know will disinfect/clean your hands i.e. rubbing alcohol, dettol, vinegar, body spray, whatever is it at hand. Idea is to keep something like a hand sanitiser with you to clean your hands after you touch surfaces and hands outside your home in public spaces. Otherwise, soap and water is recommended to wash your hands frequently. 

Haresh told me that a box of 20 face masks is going for $ 20.00 in Monrovia. Normally, prices of nearly all consumer items are inflated because everything has to be imported into the country, including onions and potatoes and eggs. 

How to make "cute" drawings

Kavita watches drawing tutorials on YouTube and, then practices drawings. It's interesting how she cultivates her own interest and practices it. Currently, she's learning how to make "cute" drawings.

When your face gets out of my sight, my heart crumbles

When you have to stone us into submission

Another one of my pieces got published in The Daily Times. See: When you have to stone us into submission: https://dailytimes.com.pk/576223/when-you-have-to-stone-us-into-submission/. 

More than 2 hours of pure classical dance and music

We were treated to more than 2 hours of our classical dance and music at PNCA. And for free!

This was a tribute to Indu Mitha by daughter Tehreema Mitha, along with dancers Amna Mawaz and Iftikhar Masih. Tehreema, Amna and Iftikhar are students of Indu, one of two exponents of  Bharatanatyam.

Kavita's tabla teacher, Ustad Naimat Khan, and sitarist and Rung School founder, Wajih Nizami, also made 2 performances. Kavita was very excited to see them.

The show was also performed in Lahore and Karachi.

Scooting home from school

I brought Kavita's scooty with me when I walked to pick her up. So, Kavita was pretty excited and scooted all the way home. We also picked some flowers and pine cones. You know, I don't know anything pine cones and need to read more about them. If you look up at the pine trees, you can see green pine cones and, even when they are very small babies and, then they harden and fall off. What purpose/function do they have?  

I just love these afternoon walks. Except the staring men. In just today's walk, I yelled at a motorbike rider , asking him why is he staring. 

The security guards (there are like 10-15 of them posted at a Saudi office or residence or God knows what) stare at you. Chaukidaar stare at you. Everyone stares. 

One fellow retorted, once, "Then why do you leave your house?" 

Still, I love these afternoon walks. 

Will never forget ebola

Now that hand washing and no touching are getting 'protocolised' again, and, international travel is getting tough, I am remembering the ebola that hit Liberia and Sierra Leone, two of the poorest countries in the world, but with some of the most resilient people there are. Liberia and Sierra Leone were made poster children of international peace building, reconstruction and development but with nothing to show for it. Liberia didn't have a single modern equipped, functioning and staffed hospital, despite pouring of billions of dollars from 2003 to 2014. The ebola devastated the populations but communities, churches, mosques, youth, and the women, yes, those strong and head tall Liberian women mobilised and, stopped the ebola. The world shut flights to Liberia (and aid), expats ran away but after almost 2 years of fighting the epidemic it was stopped. The racism that African people were faced with was insulting and awful despite that Liberia and Sierra Leone are 2 of 52 African states. Will never forge the ebola time and, how much it was clear that modern, state of the art, and universal healthcare is a right for all people , not just those who can afford it.

Europe is now epicentre of the Coronavirus.

Europe is now epicentre of the Coronavirus. It's slightly trickier than ebola because someone can carry it up to 2 weeks and, not have the symptoms. You can still get it from this person carrying it. So, it's important to follow the protocols: hand washing, using alcohol-based sanitiser if soap and water not available and, avoid contact. Follow the guidelines and your public health officials' advice (provided they are treating it as an emergency). The symptoms are dry cough, aches and pains, fever and breathlessness.

Pakistan has : 1) closed western border 2 ) schools closed until 5 April 3) public gatherings cancelled 4) cinema and wedding halls closed 5) international flights only allowed from 3 airports

Dandelion madness

And then it rained again in the late afternoon. 

Series reviews: Altered Carbon, The Haunting of Hill House , Taj Mahal 1989

Altered Carbon 

I devoured the 2 seasons of Netflix's Altered Carbon. Futuristic science fiction or, cyber punk, in this case, really blows my mind. I'm fascinated with the breadth, vision and imagination of this genre. Altered Carbon is one of the most exciting, mind altering and, philosophical series I've ever seen. It touches so many many themes : immortality, eternity, our bodies, AI, violence, inequality, wealth, colonialism, revolution, technology , meaning of life, etc. 

For a long, long time I 've wondered about who we really are. I remember this conversation with my brother in Edinburgh, Scotland in December 2005. We just had dinner and, were walking back to the service flat we had rented. I can still remember that I had had red wine and, enjoyed some really good food on that chilly evening. I asked my brother who did he think we really were. He answered with various responses: Pakistani, Male, Muslim, some type of personality. I wasn't still satisfied and, asked him but who are we beyond those identities. Being merely a woman doesn't fully capture who I am let alone all the thoughts, flaws, mistakes, desires, intentions, experiences we have. Would I still be me if I were a man? 

I've also been a little scared of death, at the idea that there is nothing after this life. And, that this lifetime simply doesn't long enough to experience the full measure of life and, all its possibilities. I would love to lead many many different lives and, explore my potentials, learned many different crafts. And, live in different parts of the world, not for days, but lifetimes in each place. 

As a newly minted feminist, one hopes for a future less patriarchal and, more evolved. How can human civilisation progress without violence, subjugation, conflict over resources, colonialism, violence against women, inequality? Maybe these go hand in hand as humans evolve and survive?  

Altered Carbon is mind blowing because it grapples with so many themes and ideas which I've personally been obsessed with: immortality and body identity/identity. Immortality isn't presented as a utopia but as a luxury for the ultra rich, so rich that they live in the sky. And, they become new gods or meths ruling the worlds and controlling all the resources. Immortality is a corruption, an unnatural existence and, the very woman who invented the technology ("stack")  to preserve human consciousness (using ancient alien technology) is now fighting a resistance. One meth says that the longer you live, you lose your original self. 

The immortal aren't benevolent and wise. They merely keep on living, exploiting everyone else, and, never have to pay for any of their sins. The less fortunate are struggle to pay for new "sleeves" (bodies) in which their consciousness can be inserted and have to do with different gendered, racial bodies, different from what they were born with.

Then there are the religious cults who are against "being spun back up" after death. There are always those.  

This idea that we can re-born into different bodies, whether male or female, whether black or white, is, I suppose, a very ancient idea anyway. Reincarnation is not a new concept . I guess what I am really grappling with is this concept of a soul. At the end of it, regardless of our body or gender , we all have a soul or spirit which makes us inherently who we are. Perhaps we do not need to believe in a real soul but for sure an idea that there is more to our physical bodies that makes us who we are. 

The future society of Altered Carbon has not eliminated horrific sexual violence and patriarchy. In fact, the violence against women becomes a twisted sport. Women are prostituted into violent deaths and, promised new sleeves. Technology is used to come up with new sick ways to torture, murder and degrade women. 

But for the sexual violence, we have Quellcrist  Falconer, as a revolutionary leader and, an eternal lover. She is one of the most powerful female characters you will see on screen. Woo, what a character. As I am delving deeper and deeper into feminist politics in Islamabad, I am in love with Quell. 

The AI character of Poe is just adorable and, a lovely lovely homage to Edgard Allan Poe. My 7th grade teacher  made all our class fall in love with "The Raven" and "Annabel Lee." Poe can be added to the list of great AI/robotic film characters who represent the most perfect aspects of human intellect, vulnerability and compassion.  And, that they are even more human than humans (of course, to be human is also to be full of conflict and, practice violence) . 

The Haunting of Hill House  

I have trouble sleeping without a night light for a week after watching horror but I still love it. There is nothing like good horror.

The Haunting of Hill House is set in the most typical of horror places: a haunted house. The haunted house is a classic setting. A family moves in and, discovers the previous residents died horrible deaths or that the house holds a deep dark secret. The basis of good haunted house stories is the suffering and grief of families, the painful memories of older generations, the proverbial skeletons in the closets, the bodies in the attics, and ancient disturbing relics hidden in American basements. 

I absolutely loved this series and, how deeply frightening it was, particularly in how traumatised the older siblings were in their adult lives, who continued to be haunted by the ghosts of the house they grew up in. The two twins' stories were particularly very haunting and touching. The way the story weaves in and out from present to the past and back was beautiful. 

This series stands out not just as a horror piece but a deeply emotional and touching family story. I absolutely loved it. 

Taj Mahal 1989 

Now, this! What an absolute delight of a mini series. 

The 80s are now the decade to go back to (Stranger Things, Dark). When will go back to the 80s here in Pakistan? Oh, sorry, it's too painful. That was when we started rolling back into the medieval ages with public flogging, throwing women in jail and, asking them to produce 4 male witnesses in case they got raped. According to Ismat Shahjahan, that's when the patriarchy got state patronage and started getting fatter and more vicious. 

Well anyway, for sure Pakistan can't ever revisit the 80s. 

Taj Mahal 1989 revisits the end of the 80s in Lucknow!  And, it has two of my favourite actors:  Sheeba Chaddha  and Neeraj Kabi. Each episode is very short and, feels both light and very profound, like a heavy thunderstorm that's over in a flash followed by a delightful garden tea party with ghazals playing in the back. It feels like a short but deeply refreshing nap. A chance encounter with a breath of fresh air in the noisy street. 

I loved everything about this series, the witty dialogues, the inter-caste harmony, the playful takes on what love means for each character, the poetry, and, the politics of the university. 

A violent and illogical patriarchal order cannot stand

How wonderful to wake up to being published on the day of Aurat Azadi March.

I'm very excited that The Daily Times picked up  my piece and published it. See it here. 

We marched, we prevailed

An violent and illogical patriarchal order cannot stand

An violent and illogical patriarchal order cannot stand 

Farzana Rasheed 

5 March 2020 

Aurat Azadi March is hardly a couple days away and, the patriarchal order is shaking with rage. A society which violently lashes out at a women’s movement is ruled by an authority that is threatened by the very idea of a woman demanding her rights. The nature of this authority is without logic or reason. Although every citizen has the right to protest, this right is denied to women. This authority follows archaic conservative principles of obedience, blind faith and, strict control of thought. And, women are not free in this society. The good news is that the Aurat Azadi March has started to crack this facade and, is gaining critical mass, maybe not in numbers but at least in influence on mainstream domestic and international news, everyday references, and some public consciousness. 

In the past few weeks, the moral and righteous filed petitions to stop the March in Islamabad, Karachi and Lahore. Maulana Fazlur Rahman threatened the Aurat March and asked his followers to do the right thing and make “sacrifices”. Aurat March posters have been torn down. Videos recording the vandalism have been made and uploaded on Aurat March social media accounts to taunt women. An almost completed mural of two women was vandalised by Jamia Hafza (even claimed by them) in the presence of Islamabad Police. The NOC, too, will be a given as a favour until the last minute, even though right to peaceful assembly and protest is a Constitutional right of citizens. 

While the courts are doing their job in throwing out these Petitions, the Police is standing by while murals and posters are being vandalised. And what to do about the Maulana? Who will file a Petition against him inciting violence against women? 

The Aurat March crops up on TV talk shows, the centre of very small and ineffective conversations about the merits/demerits of feminism. These talk show panels arerepresented by feminists, hapless confused liberal men and, then advocates of religion and, culture. Most of these anchors spinelessly favour those who preach religion and, the conversations are not moderated professionally or with any logic. There is hardly any moral outrage at the threats of violence and , threats of suppression by the right wing forces on these talk shows or on news bulletins. What did get more air time, though, was Khalil ur Rehman ‘s violent abuse of Marvi Sirmed on a talk show on Neo TV. Feminists and women 

are in uproar , always defending without discrimination any woman who is bullied. What’s the general reaction? A handful condemn Khalil while everyone else on social media is squirming politely, declaring that both Khalil and Marvi have extremist mindsets. Marvi, a feminist, represents an extreme mind set . 

But that will not deter feminists and women. In fact, it can safely be said that “Mera Jism, Meri Marzi” will be amplified louder than ever, bringing into acute and shameful focus what Pakistani women suffer and endure. 

I am fortunate enough to have become involved with the organising efforts of Aurat Azadi March here in Islamabad and, I am seething in anger at the violent outbursts the surrounding impunity. While updating our social media pages with charters, infographics, beautiful art work, photographs of grassroots mobilisation and meetings, videos explaining the March, I am outraged at both the filthy abuse online and, by the mindset that normalises this misogyny. Feminism is discredited and abused with lazy arguments. What does get unleashed for each social media post is an insatiable sport of degrading women - men seem to relish the opportunity to shame, abuse and suppress women. 

This past year of being immersed in feminist circles, attending Study Circles, meetings and, protests has given me the privilege to see feminist resistance up close. Feminists are studying and addressing systemic violence, inequality, injustice in both the public and domestic spheres. The whole crop of young feminists have joined the movement because of leftist leanings, alliances, and networks . Most of the women are young students, activists and, fairly normal/average backgrounds. Many are struggling to pay the bills, attend to family duties and, do all the emotional and physical work that a young woman is expected to do. And they still show up for feminism. 

And, if you haven’t noticed, women are full of rage. Glorious rage! They are angry at the horrific violence women suffer. That an entire patriarchal culture and system perpetuates this violence and asks us to look away. That women are tied up in the domestic sphere, not allowed to leave, are victim to domestic violence and chained to unpaid domestic and biological labour. And, even if women do leave the home, they aren’t safe from harassment, violence or discrimination. They don’t hate men but do hate those who perpetuate and justify violence against women. All my life I have been told I’m too angry or get too worked about issues which bother me and, it’s a relief to be among women who are seething with rage and, want to do something about it. Rage against injustice is a powerful emotion and, is being distilled into feminist resistance. 

Around the time I was slowing coming into my own as a feminist, I did think a lot about the transformations a woman goes through in her life. I studied hard and, worked hard. I earned good money and traveled the world. My family was proud but my personal life choices did not live up to the family’s idea of a good woman. To think we good girls spent our prime years working hard, earning money and trying to make our families proud but the conservative mindset doesn’t accept the full measure of a woman and, all her choices and desires. We still fall short and, our families begrudge and shame us for living our own lives. We are trained to chase the markers of a successful life but not to fight for our sisters’ and mothers’ and friends’ rights. 

Feminists have set in motion the second wave of feminism in this country and, everything is on the table . Today, a feminist is fighting for her right to work, study, be safe, talk, have personal freedoms and protest. She is done being a conservative society’s ‘good woman.’ She will not beg or be apologetic or tone down. Today’s feminist is fiercely political and, full of rage. She is holding the mirror up to society and, unfortunately men do not like what they see and are lashing out. She will still hold up the mirror, yell a bold slogan, write a manifesto and, analyse your class system. She has read and studied it. You can’t fight informed resistance with lame references to culture and tehzeeb and also rain down dirty abuses in one breath. 

Your authority is self contradictory and full of holes. The Aurat Azadi March will happen this Sunday, 8 March. The organisers and volunteers are  working hard into the night , finalising a million details for the big day. Placards (yes, those magic mirrors) are being prepared, dozens and dozens of bright chart paper, paints and brushes in hand. Online activism is going on non stop to make sure everyone knows about the March. Mobilisation is ongoing on university campuses (as tightly controlled as they are), katchi abadis, market places, offices, and streets. A Press Conference is being organised and another Petition hearing is on for tomorrow morning. 

Meanwhile, it is hoped that more men will attend the March this year and, the charter of demands will be more widely understood and accepted. It is hoped the state will finally start to engage with the feminist movement. Didn’t the fall of the Berlin Wall come as a surprise? And, it is high time that mainstream media (print and television) covers this movement adequately and, carefully, not for an idiotic night talk show, but with the due attention it requires. The public should be informed about the movement, how it started, how it has grown and, what it stands for. 

See you on 8 March.

Sprouting apple seeds 🍎

So, this is what a sprouted apple seed looks like! I read that apple seeds should be kept in a fridge for a month or so (See here: How to Sprout & Care for an Apple Seed) , which means apple seeds need cold storage to be able to sprout! So, they've started sprouting now, only.

Movie Review : Sonic the Hedgehog 🎬 🎥🍿